That’s not exactly true. We have plenty of naturally carbonated water, such as the sources at Perrier, San Pellegrino, Gerolsteiner … Also, there are a huge array of natural mineral waters with a wildly different mineral composition. Carbonated water may not agree with you, but it can be natural, and completely fine to consume for many.
I would say those who drink a lot of sugary fizzy drinks, a fruit-infused carbonated water can be a great substitute.
Great article, tho!